the sadist in me

you think you choose
me? you'd be amused
to know how desperately
i cling to you.

i, who verily enjoy as
your soul writhes
in agony, your heart burns
in despair.

to the hymn of pain
i dance, wild, insane,
drunk, oblivious that
you is me.

yet, somewhere within
lies a voice free of sin,
that shames me so into
a guilt unknown.

a grim battle wages
between the the adages
of morality and the exacting
primal painlust.

but beware of me, for
i bring to you dark,
disturbing forebodings
of schizophrenia.