Thanks to Suku, for sending me this article:

Shun non-Marät'hi vendors, urges Raj Thackeray

You see, Mr. T'häkre, I, as a Marät'hi, don't know where Marät'hi vendors are. I mean, vendors are vendors. Most people don't bother to know their sub-nationality; that is, Vad'äpäv in Hindi, Marät'hi, English, Gujrathi is called Vad'äpäv, so I don't know if those guys are Marät'hi or not.

As a Marät'hi nationalist, though, I think you have a good idea there. And every good idea warrants action. so this is what you do.

Break the city of Mumbai into Kshetras, Päd'äs, and Väd'äs.

Now, each Väd'ä has to have atleast one Marät'hi hotel, one Marät'hi hairdresser, one Marät'hi milkman, one Marät'hi greengrocer, so on and so forth, basically ensure that every Marät'hi man in every Väd'ä does not have to travel a lot to get his Marät'hi stuff.

Every Päd'ä has to have Marät'hi Saunskar Kendras [Masanke], Marät'hi Rangäyatans and Marät'hi Bhäshägun'avardhan Kendras [Mabhäke]. Purchases from Marät'hi vendors will get people coupons to get discounts on tickets to the Rangäyatans. There would be special rickshaws driven by Marät'hi drivers that would give a discount to Marät'hi travellers when they wanted to go to the Rangäyatans. While they are at it, could they move one air conditioning unit from Gad'kari to Kälidäs? Agreed that the former is in T'hän'e, but it is too cold, while the latter is too hot.

Every Kshetra has to have a Marät'hi smarak to some Maratha hero, other than the Chhatrapati, I mean, the Chhatrapati is eating footage like Amitabh Bachchan. There were other heroes in Maratha history, let them be glorified as well. Well, then there should be inter-kshetra spardhas, to make sure Marät'hi people keep fit, healthy, and smart. Also, there should be marriage bureaus in each kshetra to ensure that Marät'hi people get married to Marät'hi people only, thereby furthering the Mahäräsht'ra Dharma. Since there are around 3 million Marät'hi people in Mumbai, lets not worry about depleting the genepool just as yet.

All this can be financed by Mrs T'häkre's Hindi movies, Michael Jackson shows and other such gala events that have nothing to do with Marät'hi culture, but are essential since they bring in a lot of dough. Hypocrisy is best served naked.

I am mailing this to shivsena@shivsena.org as well, anonymously, of course. I have relatives who are active members of the Sthäniya Lokädhikär Samiti, don't want my father to be unduly embarrassed in front of people whom he doesn't think much of.