These crazy American signs that the government is using to tell people what to do in cases of terrorist attacks are more likely to confuse people than to prepare them: I am posting some of my favourite ones.

If you are sprayed with an unknown substance, stand and think about it instead of seeing a doctor.

If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it against the wall with your shoulder.

If a door is closed, karate chop it open.

If you lose a contact lens during a chemical attack, roll on the ground and cry like a baby.

Use your flashlight to lift the walls right off of you!