Inspired by a mail I got yesterday: :P

BBC: 1st March, 2003

Rawalpindi express derailed by act of God
- 11 dead, {fubar}
- 140 million injured

Millions advance Diwali celebrations
In a completely unrelated incident, 1 billion people celebrated the festival of Diwali, which signifies the victory of good over evil, almost 8 months earlier this year, today. Pundits believe that a divine surge of cosmic energy had changed the planetary positions, shifting the Hindu calendar. The surge is believed to have originated in the Southern Hemisphere, which is strange, since God has always loved the Northern Hemisphere more for some reason.....{ever observed that?}